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Age/Gender: 21, Male
Location: victoria BC
Job: jobber
yo. what, I'm supposed to talk to you lot? why? you count as people? crap... damn new laws! ah well. I'm captainzar. a trueborn YTMND user. newgrounds is a big flash site, it's big, and full of things that count as people. 'nuff said.
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Latest Flash Reviews
aight, lets get this laid out for those who just watched this. C & C games rock, 'nuff said, next. Westwood was one of the original game companies, back when game companies were people who don't have sex and create/market works of art for our enjoyment. EA took some kinda sick, wrong, backwards initiative and gave up on the classic game company motif, going for a more cruel, corperate aproach, they're stinkin' rich and artistic games no longer exist. C&C was bit the only game ruined by this, the ultima RPG series cannot continue because the rights are split between the original creators and EA. and most games from EA now are contracted crap and sports games. it's like satan sacked you then asked for money.
your reviews of each C&C game was truthful, but I request you add some more frames in there, it was hard to read word-for-word at times, and the reasons you provided for Generals ZH look pretty accurate, and (hopefully) unbiased, however your portrayal of C&C 3 is pretty bad considering the trailers, they keep the live actors going, which I like, and the storyline seems to harken back to the Tiberium dawn game, opposed to Sun's doom and gloom theme.
I like about 95% of your message and enjoy your animational capabilities, in short you rock almost all the time.
5'd for good measure
the Cap'n
Author's Response:
I don´t give C&C 3 any chance ...
It´s just flashy shit with explosions and fake lights and a crappy engine and probably bugs that will shred everyone apart. The whole game looks lifeless.
The only funny thing could probably be the voice-over-ip in a strategy game... needs to be in WarCraft III...
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well, you did something no one else has done so far, you used Tiberium sprites. I play Tiberium sun and enjoy it greatly, and I request a Tiberium Sun movie from you. It'll be childsplay for one of your talent
parts of the movie were awesome, yet some parts were blatantly confusing, and loud. you did many things right and few things wrong. this is cool, yet the poke at the french was a bit unfair, give 'em a break they were the first victims of tank-based blitz in history.
you made me wanna play Tiberium Dawn again so I gotta go down to my second hand dollar store and snag a used copy. thanks for reminding us westwood rocks.
The Cap'n
Author's Response:
French war history:
- Gallic Wars
- Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. [Or at ths time in history, a Roman -ed.]
- Hundred Years War
- Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Sainted.
- Italian Wars
- Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.
- Wars of Religion
- France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots
- Thirty Years War
- France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.
- War of Revolution
- Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.
- The Dutch War
- Tied
- War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War
- Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.
- War of the Spanish Succession
- Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.
- American Revolution
- In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."
- French Revolution
- Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.
- The Napoleonic Wars
- Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.
- The Franco-Prussian War
- Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.
- World War I
- Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States [Entering the war late -ed.]. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.
- World War II
- Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.
- War in Indochina
- Lost. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu
- Algerian Rebellion
- Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.
- War on Terrorism
- France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.
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this is von brunkery at it's finest. loved the song and now I'm compelled to get back into quest metal. I'm gunna watch this a few more times, 5 it, then go buy some dragonforce CDs.
this'll probably get me fulp'd (sweatty nerds oh noes) but this is typical YTMND badassery here. parodies, spinoffs, tributes, ect. ect. this is what the web was really made for.
in my opinion this beats the original with blatant authority.
The Cap'n
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